Saying Goodbye

My dad is in the final days of hospice. At 88 he's lived a full life and ready to meet his Savior. 

What made him such an amazing man?

1. As a dad, he loved with constancy and dedication; He was for me in every way that mattered.
2. He verbalized his approval and admiration.
3. He modeled and articulated a winsome relationship with His Savior.
4. He loved people, and showed me how important it was to touch others’ lives.
5. He had a sense of humor and knew the gift and delight of laughter.
6. He knew what was most important: robustly loving people, showing mercy, and lavishly giving.

Dad told and retold the story of bringing me home after the call came that a baby girl was waiting to be adopted.  He always described it as if it were the happiest day of my mom’s and his lives.  The joy on his face as he’d tell the account will be a memory etched on my heart.  That was the beginning of my life of blessing as a loved part of our family.

Dad worked hard to support us, and so we attended a small private school, my dad paid for most of my college, and gave me the wedding of my dreams.  Mostly, he knew the value of the spoken word to my tender, sensitive heart. I recall many, many affirmations of love, appreciation, and deep pride that he spoke to me.

Dad was the spring from which bubbled much wisdom.  He taught me to value all people, without judgment or category. And he modeled a compassion that lived out those beliefs.  I was only 9 or 10 when out on a drive with him somewhere downtown.  He came upon a stranger, intoxicated, lying on the side of the road (literally).  In a modern good Samaritan role, he pulled over and got out.  He helped the man in the back of the car and we drove him somewhere safe, warm, and to be cared for.  When I mentioned on the way that he was dirty and smelled, my dad just affirmed for me that he needed help and we were bringing him to get some.

Dad loved His Savior.  I can recount many, many times that as we talked about our faith, he would passionately share what he had recently listened to on the radio, heard in Sunday's sermon, read in a book or in Scripture. It was never just cerebral for him, it was relational.  He knew his God personally, and it was apparent.

God’s love and mercy shown toward my dad was evidenced and passed on in the forgiveness and patience my dad extended toward others.  This was seen in little and big ways.  Most notably was in the days following my sister’s death.  My dad gathered the family together and led us in a direction of mercy, grace and forgiveness toward my sister’s killer.  His heart was tender, without bitterness, grieving and heartbroken but not without a deep awareness of the poison of unforgiveness and anger.

Dad sat me down as a new college graduate and encouraged me as I worked with children. “They need to know you love them, Elaine.”   He taught me the value of personal touch: a hand on their shoulder, a gently hand across their head, a quick touch on the arm.  “God made us to respond to touch.”  He was an honorable man of integrity who was not afraid to hug you.  Even in his 80’s he would seek out the lonely among his church family and give a smile, hug, or word of compliment.  He loved people.

Anyone who knew my dad likely heard him spin a story with a twinkle in his eye and an engaging wit. He loved the business of living, and enjoyed the retelling of its adventure.  Post office stories, a young recruit in the navy, his process serving escapades (including many colorful close calls) highlight a few of his topics.  And I won’t forget the fathering stories he told, endearing him as tears of laughter rolled down our cheeks.

I was blessed beyond description to have been given the father that I had. He loved my mom. He loved Dorothy (his current wife), He loved his God.  He was faithful to the end.

And I now rejoice for him at the reunion he’ll soon have with so many he loved.  Even as I grieve for the end of my own earthly joy of being his daughter, I rejoice that He’ll soon see His Savior.

Thank you, Dad.

You made my Heavenly Father so easy to trust, love, and feel safe with because you modeled so well what being a good father is.

I am richly, richly blessed and truly grateful.

(For an earlier post on my dad: One Man's Influence