Who Is the Wedding All About?

Today I share an essay written by my daughter, Christa, who is getting married the end of this month.
It's not just about new brides, though. Her thoughts echo ALL our hearts as we struggle to fix our eyes on what matters for eternity and not get sucked in to this world and what it screams is important.

Thank you, Christa, for allowing me to share this. You are a precious gift to Dad & me, and I am so excited for how God will shine his grace through you as you embark upon your future.

Who is the wedding all about?  -by Christa Pratt


“Oh my word, it’s the biggest day of your life, don’t skimp on anything!”“Don’t let others decide things for you. Only your preferences matter. It’s your day.”
“You deserve the best, after all you’ve waited and worked so hard for it!”

It’s all about my hair style. The more curls the better – It’s all about my flowers. Do I want mine to look modern, hipster, throwback, retro, or a mixture? – It’s all about my makeup. I don’t want to look fake, but I don’t want to look like I just woke up either. – It’s all about the pictures of me. I’ll have them forever and I’ll remember it as the biggest day of my life, I NEED good pictures. – It’s all about my accessories, any jewelry accents the gown, but I can’t overdo it. I want the main focus on my face. I’m the important one. – It’s all about the tanning. Don’t get too dark, they’ll know it’s fake, but I DO NOT want to blend in with the dress! – It’s all about my wedding music. Don’t be too sappy, but I don’t want to downplay it either. – It’s all about me looking better than everyone else, and all attention on me.

I have felt and witnessed the incredible “me, me, me” mentality of the bride in weddings. And it has rubbed off on me. I have had my bridezilla moments, like the fight over how to write the names on the wedding invitations (sorry for my stubbornness, Mom). But I am also saddened by the culture we live in. The wedding is NOT ABOUT ME. And it’s not about Jason. At least not only us. It’s us displaying the relationship between Christ and the church. The wedding is a covenant made before God. It is a promise made to God and each other. Does he get a say in any part of the wedding? Our world screams to make the day about you. As with many other topics, the Bible says the opposite than the world.
I don’t think God cares if I wear strappy heels or classic heels as I walk down the aisle (I don’t mean to be cavalier in saying that), but God has everything to do with the wedding day. I make decisions based on what I think will please him, and I should do it in a way that pleases him. Would it be terrible if I had a friend do my hair at the wedding, instead of a professional? Would it be awful if our outside wedding venue for pictures was rained out, and we had to do them inside? Are these things so invaluable that the day would be ruined?


I confess that I have been acting selfish lately. My thoughts tend to be ‘I NEED a manicure soon.’

‘The bride must look good.’ ‘My registry better get bought out.’ And it’s not just me who’s thinking these things. The pampering stores, friends, and random strangers who hear I am getting married, the waitresses who bring out a free dessert all glorify the bride.

The wedding is a big deal. I am not down playing that fact. And it is exciting too. And I am thankful for those friends who care and pay attention. I am disgusted, however, by the selfishness I exude by thinking that I deserve a perfect honeymoon and a great wedding cake.

If I could live my whole engagement over again, I would 1) pray every night about the wedding (not that I haven’t prayed at all for the wedding, just not as substantially), 2) I would care more about what God thinks than people! 3) I would recognize the temptation to spoil and be spoiled as a bride, and stay away from it. My selfishness and my pride is ugly. It affects my relationship with my family, my future family – Jason, and with God. Ultimately, my decision to think on what I want, has caused me to shirk my relationship with God. That is my biggest regret.

So, my hope for this wedding is not that people would remember how beautiful I was, how pretty the flower girl dresses were, how tasty the food is, but that God was glorified, praised, adored, and loved.

 That is our goal within marriage – God’s glorification. Why should it be anything different in the vow we make to do so?
I am thankful God revealed my pride and selfishness to me now. May his name be glorified.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10  
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

May Christ be made strong