My Very Own Panel of Parenting Experts

Parenting is a team effort in the Pratt home.
And I’m not talking about the Jon-Elaine team.

It seems we have a self appointed group of parenting experts living under our roof who feel it within their knowledge & expertise to chime in on exactly how (and how not) it is to be done.
I’m talking about my kids.
Similar to American Idol, the pattern seems to be that of 4 judges who are ever willing to weigh in with critique, judgement and advice on any issue of current parenting we may not be seeing quite accurately or dealing with properly.
( Maybe the pattern should more accurately be that of the “Gong Show” from years gone by?)
Now, this is done most respectfully, of course.
(Long ago we nixed the “well, what about HER when SHE does this, you NEVER talk to her or punish her...” type of in-the-heat-of-the-discipline-moment attention shifting.)
But typically, it is a soft knock at my bedroom door as we’re getting ready for bed or a quiet word spoken to me as I go about my daily responsibilities…
“Mom, I’ve got to talk to you about ---------. You really have to do something about this! Let me explain…”
Or
“I am so exasperated with how ----- is being allowed to act. It is absolutely unacceptable. You’ve got to ------- (followed by a specific course of action outlined)” Sometimes the last line is followed by “or I’m going to haul off and slug him/her myself!”
Or my own paraphrased rendition…
Mom, ------- (insert sibling name) is ‘going to hell in a handbasket!’ You’ve got to stop (him/her) (in this specific action) before it is too late. This is quite disturbing, and I’m not exaggerating!”
And, of course, it is done with the sincerest of ‘other centered’ motivation.
Some current examples….
“Mom, is it really necessary that -------- has to watch her movie with her friends downstairs and not allow ----- (a sibling) to be in the room?! I see absolutely no reason that the whole family can’t be included. I think it is the height of selfishness.”
Or
“Mom, my bathing suit that -------- borrowed last week? Well, I just went to use MY suit & found it in her hamper, at the bottom, all musty from leaving it in there damp. You’ve got to talk to her…..what kind of irresponsible person would do that?!!”
Sigh.
(And I do that quite frequently during conversations like these.)
Then I pray for wisdom, take a deep breath, and try not to go into autopilot so that what my children hear is no more meaningful than the Maw-Maw-Maw-Maw-Maw noise of the adult voices on the old Charlie Brown reruns. (Remember, whenever an adult spoke, there was just this nasal-like noise to represent a voice?)
After dealing with the conversation with my ‘expert’, giving credence to the legitimacy of their concern (as it applies), explaining some of the other ‘missing factors’ that might not have been considered, and trying to give reasoning for how to best approach the situation in wisdom, I am glad for their opportunity to think through things.
Discernment (i.e. parenting) is not an easily learned nor quickly gained commodity.
And ‘parenting’ is an excellent forum in which to practice its skill, the non-black & white incidents a diligent schoolmaster.
Each conversation like this is a mini case study for young minds to evaluate and process the truths and wisdom they’ve learned in all the xxx years of their young life. Not surprisingly, their judgements often fall short, are one sided, short sighted, pragmatic or unmerciful.
And don’t even get me started on the whole ‘take care of the beam in your own eye before you point out a speck in the other’s’ opportunity!
But these discussions about parenting with my ‘at the moment parenting expert’ give me pause to think, consider & evaluate myself.
How AM I doing in my parenting?
They are an accountability of sorts, and the benefit is there in the lessons of which these conversations remind me:
Here is what I’ve repeated to myself lately…
1) I can't assume my kids ‘get it’ just because they live in my home and I’ve gone over an issue many, many times. Parenting is all about repetition. Training is habit building which takes repeated, reoccurring instruction and practice. As a parent, I need to perservere faithfully again and again and again and again and again...
2) I can't give up in the final innings. If I’ve mostly succeeded (my child is almost out of my home), or if I ‘made it’ with the older kids & just have the last one left, the temptation is to slip back into ‘coast’ mode. As a mom, the final innings often make or break the game….I can't weaken!
3) I can't ever start thinking (even subconsciously) 'I’m the expert & I’ve got this parenting thing figured out'. I need God. My kids need God! I plead for wisdom, humility, and a walking reality of the gospel in my everyday life.
4) I need to take encouragement in and be an encouragement to others in the parenting marathon. Diligent mothering is hard, discouraging and exhausting work! We need each other! I dare not walk it alone nor expect others (once I've passed its season in my own life) to do so.
I do not want to turn inward or individual in my focus.

I may not have the opportunity to get ‘voted off’ the parenting show (and some days I’d be voting myself off right along with my panel of 'expert' judges), but I will have to give an account to my children’s Maker one day.
And I want to be faithful. Because of my love for Him and my love for them.
Will you help me keep accountable in this?
I know my own four Pratt experts will be trying.