Goodbye...Romance?

As a good, stalwart, conservative, complementarian Baptist woman, there has been much to ‘surrender’ in my journey of faith. These “sacrifices” have come mostly in little chunks by my personal choice, but some came part & parcel with my Baptist heritage.
No drinking, no questionable movies or books, no dancing (not even the wedding reception slow dance with your husband), no exotic vacations (too extravagant), no designer clothes (too showy), no immediate gratification (too indulgent). It would seem in some circles even giving birth without a respectable number of hours of hard labor would reflect on one feebly –and don’t even mention that you opted for some narcotic relief---that would just not do! Pain, struggle, denial…all these were pillars of the pilgrims and the patriarchs…and we’d do well to follow in their example. (Abraham’s wives/concubines gave birth to 12+ children & they most certainly did not get an epidural!)
Foolishly, I thought my present age & experience made any more large sacrifices unlikely.
But, today I found one author who implied that to be spiritual, one had to give up….romance.
Okay, I know for half my audience, this brings on a yawn.
“What’s the big deal?”
“Romance? Just go buy your own chocolate & candles; it’s simpler & then you can pick out the kinds you really like—plus get them on sale!”
Or the few of you I know who are out there thinking,
“Romance? Romance? Tsk…tsk…Elaine, I’d had you pegged as more mature, less emotional. Romance is for the young. For the naïve. For the stupid. You claim to be a theologian, a lover of eternal values.
Romance?
C’mon!”
And I know my good friend will add her own smiling commentary, “There’s that sail again, unfurled in the wind & getting ready to take off in the clouds…brings trouble every time! You need a little more ballast in your life, girl…”
To all I respond:
There’s only one way I’ll give up romance, and that’s if God tells me to.
(Please wait as I search His Word for His thoughts…)

Long pause.
Yep, it seems I am to give up some things:
~ Shallow, feelings-oriented, fickle affection that may change with the perfume scent or belly size of my partner….
~ Emotion-driven decisions on who I’ll love, how long I’ll keep loving him, if I still love Him, and how I’ll show my love…
~ Clinging to the fallacy that ‘if I just find the right man, make the man I have improve, or make the man I have go away…then I could be happy & fulfilled’.
~ Even sub-consciously expecting a husband to intuitively know, understand, or completely meet my own emotional desires…as if a man thinks & feels like I do?!
These are but a few of the world’s lies put forth to female hearts as truth.
God calls me to give them up.
And I’d be a fool to insist I know better than my good, all wise Heavenly Father.
But wait….only because true romance, His idea of love, is better.
As I give up the lies, I can embrace God’s design.
(God’s ways always supersede the counterfeits of Satan.)
Hurray for me, this design includes romance!
Romance (as described , defined and experienced within Biblical parameters):
_The metaphysical union of two committed souls who share an intimacy that surpasses explanation: not chickflick instant gratification of ‘love at first grope’ but a purposed love based on wisdom, reason, purity, and forged through commitment and living out that commitment even when the candle light dinner is replaced by a barf bowl and crackers.

^The freedom to be vulnerable and open, unashamed without secrets, disclosing not just one’s body, but also one’s heart and soul in the safety of unconditional, covenant-bound love. And knowing that even when human trust may betray, God is ever, always trustworthy.
_Choosing to delight and be ravished in and by my lover, it is perceiving through eyes of love which know imperfections abound, but see with grace-filled blindness.
Romance:
^Keeping expectations no higher than they should be but no lower than God’s goodness would demand.

_ Male and female. They are different; one is not better. Together we complete the other as the vessel to bring God glory. And this is beautiful.
^ It may include candles, beaches, soft music or barefoot walks (sounds painful to me?!) It may also include putting bait on a hook, a crossword puzzle & 2 pencils, Buffalo wings and 2 root beers, or dirt biking until dusk resulting in a sweat ratio that could rival a locker room of wrestlers.
Romance_Is not a feeling, though feelings are not irrelevant; love is not holier if absent of feelings nor in any way more legitimate if based on feelings. Feelings are the trappings of committed love which sometimes show up and sometimes do not. No matter. The love is undaunted.
Love in marriage is a good gift from God; romance is but one application of how God expects us to use this gift however this romance may look to us:
“…God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.” 1 Tim. 6:17b

How dare one dutifully tolerate His gift when He bids us enjoy.
Lord,
I fall so short of your calling in my marriage. I am selfish, self oriented and self seeking. Enable me to live out your high calling in this gift even as I look full in the face of you, the Giver, as my ultimate joy and satisfaction. Don't let me settle for less than your grand design. May I---may we---glorify your name in our union. May our love demonstrate to others your great love. Borne not out of mere duty, but of true delight! ~Amen