Lessons from the Battlefield

Towel on the bathroom floor, angst against the curfew, lollygagging toward homework,  texting during supper, debating the ‘no’ to that request, resisting the chore regimen, TV and game system management ( I have 1 boy), emotions and drama (I have 3 girls)….

I’ve been a parent for almost 23 years, and I still have 2 children in the home (teenagers).

I have determined that faithful parenting, among other things, is a continual battle of resistance. 
And this is true whatever age your child may be.

 I’ve observed this in my own life. Can you relate?

In my parenting, I’ve had to stand firm and offer:

1. Resistance to their  folly – -their sinful, self-willed bent.  Sin is the warp and woof of every heart, and that means my little darling is full of it! It is my role to point to God’s rescue, but also to consistently point to sin’s presence and refuse to allow its reign in everyday life choices.  From toddlerhood, the self-willed (“I want my way”) orientation must not be overlooked or micromanaged, but faced head-on in loving, gospel-oriented fashion.  DO NOT GIVE IN TO PRACTICAL STRATEGIES TO JUST “GET BY” – orient yourself to the long haul (eternal) perspective.  Address heart direction first and then exercise practical means of combatting its outward expression.  
2. Resistance to their immaturity – a childish, self-focused orientation.  It may be ‘normal’ but it is not acceptable.  Resist allowing the “me-first” innate responses and motivations by teaching them differently.   From the earliest opportunity help them:  allow others to go first,  pick up after yourself so another isn’t required to do so,  allow others to talk of their interests and accomplishments. Teach them how to initiate conversations with those not their friends, notice the lone one in the group, sit quietly in the service and go to the bathroom before or after the service (not in the middle, distracting others’ worship). Don’t quickly allow quitting: music lessons, sport teams,  church functions, even sitting through a sibling’s school event…because “it’s not fun!”  Resist the response that says, “that’s just their age”;  this may be true, so train them to age-appropriately  manage the self focus in it. 
3. Resistance to my own “let’s just do whatever is easiest” tendency.  I get tired of the hassle, and so I degenerate to survival mode.  Wisdom knows what battles are ‘big’ and which are not worth fighting.  But make sure the decisions in this regard are truly determined by principle, and not by the amount of hassle/frenzy/busy-ness going around you, or the effort that you simply don’t want to put into the situation.  This area is a real “I need God" aspect, as my own weakness continually throws me at Christ’s feet for the strength I need to be faithful.  (I’d so much rather just go sit down with a good book or get that task accomplished!)
4. Resistance to my own “motherhood should be like a Hallmark card” expectation.What’s your home-life expectation?  A tight ship? A “Currier & Ives”  cozy cocoon of togetherness? A friends- in-and-out hub of activity and busy-ness? A spiritual, home-education  schedule of precision?  A task-driven boot camp for little soldiers?  Give up the idol of your own making in this inordinate leaning, and instead focus on the singular essence of God’s agenda.  It is simple (not easy, but simple):  Help them learn to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength; then provide tools and training for them to live this out.   

May I encourage you, (as I try to look to God to help remind me!), not to give up on this resistance. Persevere to the end….Resistance is not just optional; resistance is central!