On Turning 48

It’s just a number, they say.

Right.

Kind of like an “F” is just a letter (as it is slashed across a term paper) or “Deceased” is just a word (as you look over the form, specifically the blank following ‘mother’…). Mine has been gone now for almost 4 years.

Sometimes a single letter, word or number can pack some pretty mean punch.

But,

I’m saving my “poor ol’, very-old me” speech for when I’m 50. (Light years from now!)

At 48, I realize, I have much to be thankful for as I reflect back on the (I refrain from saying ‘many’) years:

Friends: This week I enjoyed coffee at the lakefront with one friend as we read through & talked about John 14 & Heaven. The sun beamed brightly and our conversation flowed freely around our joined interest in things eternal. What a journey together we’ve shared in the not so long time since we first met, and how we’ve seen God’s grace at work!

Just today I began the day with another dear friend, a brisk early walk around Cleary Lake, our relaxed, easy pace matched our conversation as we so comfortably enjoyed the familiar chords of friendship’s melody which plays its song almost effortlessly whenever we share time together.

These 2 examples are just a sample of relationships which God has blessed me with; people who have encouraged, exhorted & loved me, all pointing me to the One who originated friendship. He is the giver of wonderful gifts!

Family: I deserve not any of them. Children who drive me crazy, mess up my clean spaces, get in my face to resist me, and regularly act as if I don’t exist except as some ‘magic’ chauffeur/cook/laundry/shopper/fix-it genie. But in God’s grace I also witness glimpses of His work in their lives, feel the pride of their accomplishment and industry, hear of the their quiet demonstrations of integrity, and witness their comradarie and support for each other. And ever so often, I feel a small breath on my cheek as one whispers “I love you, Mom’ or another sweaty, smelly version hugs me & repeats the same. They hold my heart. And it is gladly captive to these 4 versions of heaven God entrusted to our care for a while.

And a husband who steadily loves, who reaches out to help at every turn, who smiles in anticipation (still!) as he returns home each eve to greet me with a kiss, who makes popcorn for me, pampers and listens with his heart. This is my gift, and I am free to unwrap and explore its pleasure every day.

At 48, I could do much, much worse.

Faith: The previous gifts only draw my attention to the Giver. Who could love me so much to shower me with such bounty? Only One who first would open my eyes to the ugliness of my heart and provide a way clean. Only One who had power to keep me from the bondage of my own selfish ways and continues to draw me to Himself. He regularly reminds me that the gifts….they will never satisfy, no matter how good. Only the Giver can provide lasting joy. And He freely gives Himself. What delight. What a God!

“Happy” Birthday is an understatement for what I can enjoy tomorrow.
Thank you, God. Thank you.