Vacation

Majestic, snow topped mountains surrounded by billowy clouds.
Bold, deep caverns with raging river waters rushing through.
Waterfalls sprouting from any crevice, some powerful, some trickling through in surprising splendor.
Nature displaying the magnificent prowess of our Creator at every turn.
What better place could there be to feel close to God?

And yet I didn’t.

Perhaps my expectations were partly to blame.
I envisioned walks in the morning, leisurely times of communing in prayer.
Or sitting at dawn, coffee and me, open Bible in hand, views of splendor a glance away.
Peaceful solitude, enjoying the leisure of God’s breath & my own mingling in the early morning hours as my family slept.

Didn’t happen.

Hectic demands of family and travel, schedule and destinations made mornings a quick grab for the ‘to go’ cup of java and lots of reading time in the van, on the way.
So, I just adjusted my attitude and went forward. I’m flexible.

Still didn’t feel close to God.

So, was he far away? Was I far from Him?

After investigating my own heart for sin (which can make one feel VERY far from God), I determined no known transgression created the chasm.
It was just the smoke & mirrors of feelings.
None of which was rooted in any kind of reality.

I chose then in this private journey, in my side of the van, to preach to myself the reality of what God’s Word does tell me. It had nothing in common with my feelings.

1) His handiwork displays the glory of God and I could see the images of His greatness all around me—this gave opportunity for praise & adoration to flow from my heart…whether or not I felt like it…or felt anything!

2) His presence in my life through the ministry of the Holy Spirit never leaves me—never. He is ever as close as the whisper to Him before it leaves my mouth or the yearning for him before it leaves my heart. And He invites me to fill it with Himself.

3) His Word is ever my reminder of His love and care, wisdom and protection, warning and rebuke, promise and hope. And He gives it to me in written form. I may read it from His book or reflect upon it in my heart. He is never silent.

I reminded myself that feelings can often be my friend, but sometimes they can be traitorous. On vacation they threatened to thwart my joy by inviting me to doubt God and get wrapped up in disappointment. I had to fight back.

But I know for many there are countless other ways they try to deceive, as well:

"My marriage can’t be strong, good, enjoyable; my husband isn’t ‘right’ for me, because I just don’t feel right about it. The ‘love’ is gone. "
"My quiet time is so blase’; I just don’t get anything out of reading the Bible on my own. It’s so…so…well, empty. There’s just nothing there. "
"The SS class (or put in church service, Bible study, etc.) is so dry, so academic. I just don’t ‘connect’ with the teacher/discussion/content/style. Why can’t we have something more ‘relevant’?! This doesn't seem worth a whole lot…"
"How could God allow this to happen? What was He thinking? Doesn’t he know I’m trying to please him, doing all I can, and yet He lets this take place? "

or
"Forgiven? My sin? I just don’t feel it; the weight is too heavy, my black heart too ongoingly black?! There must be more to this..."

So many ways our feelings, if we allow them to rule, can lead us in dangerous, mutinous paths that are completely out of whack with reality.
Our feelings influence our perceptions until we see only the ‘reality’ we believe we see based on how we feel.

It is emotionally-induced heresy!

Preach the truth to yourself instead.
Then stay awake during the whole sermon so it can reach past your ears to your heart.

Going on vacation is one thing; letting your feelings take you on a vacation from truth is quite another.