Respect....him?

"But….

You don’t know my husband.

“There is very little to respect about him.
And, though I try, and look hard to see the good in him…he frankly is not respect-worthy! "

(For some he is as far from respectable as one can imagine.)

"It would be hypocritical for me to act or speak respectfully, as I’d be speaking lies.
How can God expect me to respect someone who is not respectable?.”
I hear the anguish in the words, the heartache and disappointment in the tone, the frustration oozing from between the lines.
And I respond with compassion yet honesty and hope for you in the following words…
The respect you give is not ultimately because of who your husband is,
But because of who God is.
Respect him because of Him.
This is the call of God to every wife.

Just as God loves us not because we are worthy of His love, just as Christ died for us not because of our deserving status, just as salvation is offered totally separate from our merit, so is the command for wives given.
It has absolutely nothing to do with the receiver deserving it, but everything to do with the giver (you) and the intent of her heart (to love the Giver of the command --in faith).

Ephesians 5 establishes the motivation and manner right away in verse 22 “wives are to submit to their husband as to the Lord”, The entire portion describing God’s design for the marriage relationship is set in the bigger purpose of displaying Christ’s love for the church, His bride.
So your conformance to Christ’s command to respect your husband is part of a bigger picture. Not because he deserves it (that is irrelevant).
But, because as you respect him (your husband) even in his undeserving state, you mirror the Bride’s response of love and obedience to her groom, Christ.
And you do it to show how much you love Him.

God, teach us the truth that our love for others is not ultimately for or to them, but to you! May I love with abandon and sacrifice as you did, looking to scarred feet and pierced hands as my example. I love you, Lord. May you enable me to faithfully live that out. ~Amen