I had the enjoyable opportunity to visit with my dad this week. My father turned 80 this past July, but don’t think “old man with a cane and feeble of step”. Nope, my dad doesn’t look a day over sixty and, on most days, has more optimism and spunk than I do. He’s always been a twinkle-in-his-eye, see-the-glass-as-half-full kind of guy who enjoys making others smile.Even if he weren’t my dad, I’d enjoy spending time with him.
As I arrived, he had made breakfast for us. It was just the two of us, (my mom passed away three years ago next week), and over scrambled eggs, bacon, toast & coffee, our conversation turned serious.
“What is the most important thing to a husband, do you think?” he asked me.
(My dad had obviously been enjoying his favorite pastime again, listening to Christian radio. I was used to him sharing his latest ‘find’ on what someone had discussed on the air.)
Hmmm…interesting question.
My mind immediately jumped to the obvious answer; you know, the three-letter word that rhymes with the ending of Tyrannosaurus Rex….
But, this was my dad, after all, so I decided not to go there and chose to just listen to him instead.
“Tell me”
Here you need to get a vision of my dad. Leaning forward with intensity in his voice and fervor in his eyes, he offered the one word answer:
“Respect.”
Pause.
“How do you think a wife shows respect to a husband?” he asked.
“Wow, that’s a long answer”, I said, “with a lot of possibilities.”
“But it’s not hard, Elaine. It really is quite simple.”
"It’s showing appreciation for what a man does. It is telling him that he’s good at whatever he’s working on. It is letting him know you think he’s the greatest. It is building him up so he believes at least YOU think he is something.”
He pauses and looks up in the air, remembering something…
“I guess I never realized this specifically in my own life because your mom did it so naturally. She was a great encourager. She always cheered me on and built me up. I never stopped long enough to consider how important that was.”
“But to a man, being respected is really, really important.”
I left that visit with time in the car ride home to speculate on my own performance in this area.
4When was the last time I verbally affirmed my respect for my husband?
4Do I take time to mention my appreciation for what he does so well?
4Have I chosen to look at the efforts he makes and the perserverance he shows even when the end result may not be perfect (in my eyes)?
4Would Jon be able to reflect on the recent past and recall an act or word (or many!) that showed to him in some way, “My wife is on my team; she believes in me!”
I enjoyed many things about my visit that day with my dad. Time spent with him (all to myself) is very precious.
But today I received a double blessing as I was able to take home both a reminder and encouragement in my role as a wife.
For this ‘respect’ issue is more than just an idea from talk radio, or from the lips of a wise ‘old’ man….it is God’s word of goodness to us as He speaks in Ephesians to wives.
Thanks for the good reminder, Dad!
I’ve taken it to heart.
“…and wives, see that you respect your husbands…”
Ephesians 5:33
“How do you think a wife shows respect to a husband?” he asked.
“Wow, that’s a long answer”, I said, “with a lot of possibilities.”
“But it’s not hard, Elaine. It really is quite simple.”
"It’s showing appreciation for what a man does. It is telling him that he’s good at whatever he’s working on. It is letting him know you think he’s the greatest. It is building him up so he believes at least YOU think he is something.”
He pauses and looks up in the air, remembering something…
“I guess I never realized this specifically in my own life because your mom did it so naturally. She was a great encourager. She always cheered me on and built me up. I never stopped long enough to consider how important that was.”
“But to a man, being respected is really, really important.”
I left that visit with time in the car ride home to speculate on my own performance in this area.
4When was the last time I verbally affirmed my respect for my husband?
4Do I take time to mention my appreciation for what he does so well?
4Have I chosen to look at the efforts he makes and the perserverance he shows even when the end result may not be perfect (in my eyes)?
4Would Jon be able to reflect on the recent past and recall an act or word (or many!) that showed to him in some way, “My wife is on my team; she believes in me!”
I enjoyed many things about my visit that day with my dad. Time spent with him (all to myself) is very precious.
But today I received a double blessing as I was able to take home both a reminder and encouragement in my role as a wife.
For this ‘respect’ issue is more than just an idea from talk radio, or from the lips of a wise ‘old’ man….it is God’s word of goodness to us as He speaks in Ephesians to wives.
Thanks for the good reminder, Dad!
I’ve taken it to heart.
“…and wives, see that you respect your husbands…”
Ephesians 5:33
From observing my dad, I thought the "most important thing" was to have his own basketball hoop so he could go out and shoot baskets whenever he was bored. But the second most important would probably be respect:)
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