Midlife & Beyond

How do you do this ‘midlife thing’?

The question rolled off her lips, but not without first lowering her voice.

I smiled with understanding, as I’d heard this inquiry before…and had profusely pondered it myself!

Midlife can seem like a roller coaster gone bad:   slow-moving inclines up really high (hang on!),  breath-robbing drops at breakneck speeds (help!), and lots of hairpin twists and jerky turns---all in the dark (didn't see that coming, what’s next?!).

How DOES one maneuver the change? (And why had no one warned me?!!)

The answer I offered her in the moment was more a quip than a response.

May I offer a real answer here? The message I continue to “preach” to myself?

1.  Remind yourself of truth and reject the lies.

·         TRUTH:  Countless women have walked this road with grace and beauty, and I can, too.

·         TRUTH: My worth (or feelings thereof) do not depend on youthfulness, attractiveness, or physical capabilities. God loves me unconditionally –I am his child, and that is where I tether my identity.

·         TRUTH:  God is good, and this good plan includes the adjustments of aging,  declining health, empty nest woes,  physical changes and trials—and all the emotional woes that accompany these things.

·         TRUTH:  I can continue to love God & others, yes--in tangible, sacrificial ways--- and not let this season divert my focus to turn inward.  I have great continued opportunity to offer meaningful contribution! 

·         LIE: I’m the only one that is struggling with this—why does it seem so easy for others?

·         LIE: The feelings I have about myself, my life, my worth, how things have turned out—these are my reality and I am captive to them!

·         LIE: I am too tired, too old, too crabby, too busy to continue like I used to.  It’s too hard.

·         LIE: The hardship of this season gives me reason/excuse to withdraw, pull back, hold back---someone else is better able to fill the need. It’s the younger people’s turn now; I’ve put in my time

   2.  Take responsibility for what is in your control.

·         Be active in a consistent, scheduled way.  Discipline yourself with daily activity and/or exercise.

·         Be balanced in healthful eating, without letting the area of food control you –either  in excess or in denial.

·         Be ongoing in your pursuit of God: worship, personal study, delighting in Him, ministry-- both personally and with your local assembly.

·         Be positive in how you choose to process life (choose truth). We can give thanks in all things, or see gloom behind every tree.  I don’t want to be that crotchety old woman others remember with a grim smile---do you?

   3.  Keep the most important things at the top of your priority list and maintain a focus of time & attention to these.

·         What’s important? Eternal pursuits: Loving God, loving people, relationships,  passing on the torch, ending strong

·         What’s of lesser importance:  earthly stuff:  your house, your ills, life’s disappointments, how much you weigh, where your winter vacation is, obsessing on grandchildren, the ways we piddle away time with little tasks and trite amusements

My prayer in this part of the journey, as in each day in the past:

God, 

Make me bleed your love, breathe out your truth, smile your peace, sing your joy, and rest in your plan.

Yes, even in midlife.