So Much The Same Thing

A long time ago I was a 1-2nd grade teacher.  At 23 years of age, fresh out of college, 25 students.

• I began drinking coffee in those days. Lots of coffee.
• I had a child throw up all over me one day, and it was only 11 am.
• I asked one little boy to wait for our next break (15 min) to visit the bathroom, and he had an accident (poor guy! – dumb teacher!). His mom talked to me later about it (ashamed teacher!). 
• After an especially good explanation in class of a certain concept that I felt proud of & certain every child intently followed, one girl raised her hand and offered, “Your slip is showing”. 

Sigh.

Teaching had its discouraging moments and really, really bad days.
And I remember often wondering: Am I doing a good job? Am I doing this right?! Why is it so… frustrating? 
And since I was alone in this responsibility, I sometimes floundered in finding an accurate perspective on the whole deal.

Being a mom is like that.  Especially in those days with young children.

May I offer some encouragement? Some stabilizing perspective?

1. Ongoing and repeated calls for you to respond to unacceptable behavior is a normal day of mothering—sometimes it may seem like your whole day! Yelling, responding in frustration, anger-driven responses are not.  Don’t confuse the two, but don’t think the first means something is wrong. That’s the job.

2. Training (by definition) is repetition of the same, foundational (but critical!) lessons.  Obedience. Self-control. Not hitting. Submission. Thinking of others. (Truth, Reminder, Offense, Discipline, --all in love – repeat) If your day as a mom is spent doing the same thing over and over again that more often means you are doing the right thing! ---not failing in some way. Persevere, don’t give up. Keep it up. That’s what mothering is!

3. Seeking grace, wisdom & strength from God in full acknowledgement of your own need is a much wiser focus than chasing after the newest “expert strategy”, child development (or FB)  solution, chart & sticker plan, or whatever else is being touted as the ‘new & greatest” answer in mothering land.  Practical remedies aren’t evil—and can be helpful, but they often masquerade as most important.  And then one can lose focus and get distracted from what really is.

4. If you don’t find some fun and laughter amid the moments, something is awry. Choose not to be so serious all the time! Ask God for joy in the journey---even when it’s jogging uphill. 
 I remember one of my daughters extensively coloring herself and a friend’s arms & legs with markers while playing in the backyard (what was wrong with the sandbox, toys & fresh air?!!), another time after bringing my 3rd daughter (newborn) home from the hospital, my 2 year old poured out the baby powder all over the living room table & “fingerpainted” with it (and I LOVE messes!). 
I screwed up many times in my years as a mom, but I remember these two occasions because I chose to grab a camera and snap a photo and NOT let myself become unglued (with God’s help!) Take the opportunity (while remembering #1,2,3 above!) to take that little face in your gentle, cupped hands and kiss the gift of God that is wrapped there, then giggle & cuddle and…take a photo. (And of course, post it on FB….right?!)

In my early teaching days, I had an older fellow-teacher who kindly listened to my woes, said very little in response, but lived out in his classroom the lessons I’ve mentioned .  And I’m grateful for the ballast of truth that was communicated. 

Stay the course.