It's Not So Bad

Do you hate sin like God does?
I know I don’t.

Oh, I certainly am anti-evil, hate vehemently certain atrocious sins (usually those I don’t struggle with personally), and have 20/20 vision in identifying the sin in other people’s lives.

But, my own sin?
Well, in theory and ‘public record’, of course, I hate it!

In private as seen through my practice…well, I am much too soft.

Especially in the ‘pet’ sins which I become so attached to. (And which I convince myself wrongly, “it’s not really that bad.”)

~You know, like the roll of the eyes in impatience at my husband.

~The tolerance for my own selfish disappointments which settles comfortably into self pity. I know I should address it, but I’d rather wallow in it awhile. And so I allow it to exist for a time, even though I should reject and repent immediately.

~My critical, judgemental spirit---and often words---for another who doesn’t think or do something exactly like I do. (Maybe it’s in parenting, spending free time, or even how they do/don’t do ministry!)

There’s more, but I won’t elaborate further. You get the point.

Each of these is an affront to a holy God, caused His death, and disrupts the communion I have with Him through my salvation.

And so I pray to hate my own sin more.
To see it more clearly.

And not to tolerate and coddle it.

Sin is a deceiver. It promises something it cannot give (and it does this knowingly.) Yet, we continually fall prey to its lure and reject the truth of what God tells us of His provision, promise and goodness. Next time you struggle with one of your ‘pet’ sins, think of the counterfeit it is. It doesn’t come through with what you want. It only leaves ashes and ugliness. Don’t believe the lie(s)!

Sin is a destroyer. Satan is never satisfied just to get you distracted in your sin. His agenda (and the natural course of continuing in sin---even the ‘little’ ones) is enslavement to it and then your destruction. Even the roll of my eyes toward my husband (which speaks of impatience, disrespect, self-righteous pride, discontentment, lack of love---that’s a lot of transgressing possible in one ‘little sin’) will never stay ‘little’. It will grow, get bigger, can infiltrate my entire attitude toward him and my marriage, develop bitterness, and it will, with time & feeding, destroy. If not the literal marriage, certainly the joy and purpose God intends within marriage.

And so I prayed yesterday:

God give me eyes to see my sin, to hate it as you do. Enable the Holy Spirit to reveal even the blind spots that I have which violate your law and disrupt our fellowship, and dim your glory as seen in my life. And help me to give zero tolerance to it, to resist and reject it as I’m tempted, and when I fall, to repent of it immediately.

Keep my heart soft, humble and teachable in this.

And keep me from any stronghold of sin.

(Even ‘little pet sins’ can be strongholds. Can be enslaving!)

I so need you! Grant this, I pray.

~Amen