"Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart...."

Is there someone in your life whom you love but he/she is not following a path of wisdom, perhaps strayed away from (or never were) following God?

This relationship can be very difficult, strained with disappointment and hurt on your part, as well as awkwardness and distancing on the part of the other person.

The closer the relationship, the deeper the pain. And in your quiet moments with God, your questions may increase:
“Why won’t he follow You, God?”

“How can she miss your goodness and love?”
“What is he thinking?! IS he thinking?”

“When will she see the brash foolishness of her choices? “

On and on they go.

And we’re often left in the ‘middle’, asking,

How do I respond? How do I relate to him/her?

The Apostle Paul had something to say in response to this question.

In his own ministry to the people of Thessalonica whom he loved, listen to how he related…

“But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us…”

For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God…” 1 Thess 1: 7-8 and 11-12

Two aspects of Paul’s relationship w/them are illustrated by the differing parenting qualities he mentions; each is vital!

1) Gentle, caring love lived out in self-sacrificial service (like a mother)

2) Ardent advocacy and promotion of God-following by one with proven devotion (like a father)

These two facets give an immediate litmus test for our own interactions with our ‘wayward’ loved one, and they are equally true for either gender.

1) Like a devoted mother….

¨ Do I continually extend gentleness and affection?

¨ Am I willing to forfeit my own desires, preferences, comfort and expectations for the good of him/her?

¨ Am I willing to give, repeatedly and inconveniently, without thought of what I get (or don’t get) back?

2) Like a devoted father….

¨ Am I willing to speak truth, even when it proves confrontational, doesn’t seem to make a difference?

¨ Am I living the truth so that my life demonstrates what I am exhorting about? And makes following God appealing, winsome and ‘worthy of God’ before this person whom I am trying to persuade?

¨ Do I understand the difference between encouragement and nagging? Guilt tactics and truth-giving? Ramming down a throat vs thoughtful confrontation

¨ Do I leave the Holy Spirit’s work to Him and allow God to use me, instead, as an ambassador?

Paul Tripp, in his book, Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hand, states,

“I am deeply persuaded that the foundation for people-transforming ministry is not sound theology; it is love. Without love, our theology is a boat without oars" (page 117).

“Yet this is where we often get stuck. We want ministry that doesn’t demand love that is, well, so demanding! We don’t want to serve others in a way that requires so much personal sacrifice. We would prefer to lob grenades of truth into people’s lives rather than lay down our lives for them" (p 118, italics mine).

Ouch!

I know many times I am too quick to ‘lob’ those grenades of truth and then quickly retreat back into my cozy, comfortable woman-cave of Christian living.

I am reminded in all my relationships of the importance of incarnating the love of Christ to the other.

Maybe the ridiculous pop Christmas song sung by Taylor Swift actually echoes Paul’s exhortation & has a grain of truth to take to heart.

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart….”

(It didn’t turn out so well for her.)

But if it is true Biblical love, the advice is right on!