Dessa

Attending my daughter’s commencement service at the U of M gave me opportunity to meet Dessa. She was in her late 20’s, a U of M alumnus (B.A.), a rapper and musician, AND she was selected to give the commencement address.

Interesting! 

(Never listened to a graduation address given by a rapper before!!)

Still, I decided to resist stereotyping and its resulting close-minded snobbery. I sat up and listened, seeking to find something in her words that would ring of truth, something for me to learn.

I found two items. Allow me to share one.

“Charitable Interpretation” were the words she used. As she described their meaning I found myself drawn to familiar turf, a kind of ‘déjà vu’ in this concept, as if I’d heard it before.

 “As you deal with a person,  manage a situation, or hear words of explanation," she explained, "choose to construe them in the best possible way. Give them the benefit of the best possible light.  Create the most positive grid possible for how you interpret life situations and the people in it."

“Even if they don’t deserve it. “

“Even if you don’t feel like it.”

“Even if it is hard, costly, or really, really sucks. “

 (The last sentence is close to an exact quote. I think rappers like to use words like ‘suck’.)

I smiled.

Her point, to treat people and situations through eyes of grace and mercy, reading the best in their words and actions, was indeed familiar; they are downright Biblical.

And though her motivation in this was the good Karma (of sorts) that would result, our motivation as Christians is more eternal (and legitimate). This pleases God, which brings Him glory, which brings us joy.

How does this look?

• When your sister-in-law makes the last minute excuse and can’t keep her promise, don’t get mad. Give it to God and say a quick prayer that she’ll know God’s care in her hard situation at work….
• When your husband forgets (again!), skip the reprimand and instead lean up to kiss his cheek and remind yourself of the gift He is to you.
• When traffic is tense, the washing machine stalls again, the neighbor is ornery and the dog poops on the carpet, don’t scream at the first person you see or roll your eyes in crabbiness, smile and take a deep breath. Exhale and repeat.  (Isn’t it good to be alive and know tomorrow’s another day!)
• When another who is supposed to share your responsibility bails (or fails to hold up his end to your liking), don't vent, explode, demand or curse the day he was born, consider your own (sometime past) failings and give him a break. Then let it go.
• The forgotten 'thank you', the absent 'hello', the unspoken 'looks great', the missing 'so glad you did that'.....well, consider each with a generous spirit and understanding heart; choose not to hold a grudge or take offense! 
• And the one who has really hurt you, who said that cruel thing, overlooked what was so important to you, misjudged or maligned? Ask God to help you let go and look at him with love, the undeserved kind that God freely pours out on you. 

Choose the most ‘charitable interpretation’ of your circumstances, of that person, of the words you just heard.

In Bible language: choose grace.

Proverbs 29:11 "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."

Perhaps one could even create a rap to go along with that. You’ll have to choose a different name, though, than “Dessa”.

That one has already been taken.

Choose grace!